What does it mean to live a creative life?
How can we, how can I, meet that sparkly beautiful part of myself and greet her again and again with a grand and warm welcome.
Living an artist is a constant cultural upstream swim. Simultaneously questioned for unconventional choices and lauded for courage. Lately, I have been ultra occupied with my yoga mission and planning a wedding. I’ve hardly noticed as my creative life has gone by the wayside. Not that teaching isn’t creative, it’s just different.
So in part of my exploration of what makes life so full and beautiful, I noticed that I have not been fulfilling my dharma as an artist. Chalk it up to a extremely passionate and traumatic relationship - that ended OVER 2 years ago. Really?
When faced with trauma, we all deal as best as we can. But that doesn’t always include skillful or harmonious action to ourselves or others. In this case, I equated my creativity with something that damaged me and promptly shut the door. My greatest impulses for creation rotting on the other side of hurt.
The funny thing is, and this is really what I want to talk about is that in my own mind, I AM AN ARTIST above all else. I LOVE to make secret public art, leave love notes and presents hiding around, spontaneously sing and write poetry, and make tiny drawings left selectively to incite passion and riot. Most of my choices have been guided by this passion. And now, I’m somewhere else. I’m 32, on a multitasking fast from my crazy life, and dearly missing this part of myself that I unconsciously swore off.
As Douglas Brooks says, “you are the point the universe was trying to make”. We are insanely creative beings, seeking answers, acting and reacting, dancing with curiosity and boredom. In Anusara yoga the 2 highest reasons for practicing yoga are *to know yourself deeply* so that you may *express your unique sensibilities and beautiful idiosyncrasies more fully*.
In this world, we are only ourselves. We are our own best friend and worst enemy. What if we consciously embraced all that we are? What if we once and for all refused to do any more harm to ourselves and others?
I am grateful for that relationship that nearly did me in. Because it didn’t. And now, I’m here asking questions again about how to live more fully. And asking you the same.
May you know the source of our wisdom, may you live in the truest part of your heart, may you have the courage to speak the icky true things kindly to continue on your path.