This is Cosmo. He said it'd be ok to share this pic and our conversation over popcorn on the porch this morning. At almost 5, the themes are big. Robbers are people that make bad choices. If the army kills robbers by accident, then it's ok. Robbers only come to houses when no one or no dogs are home. It's ok to let the robbers steal things. Is our house kind of safe, or VERY safe? Sometimes the army kills people they don't mean to. If the army killed all the bad guys in the world by accident...
Me: I don't think it's possible for the army to kill all the people in the world.
Him: Oh yeah mom, just the robbers. All the time I think about how to raise boys well in this time and place. Not just telling them what I think about the world, but teaching through action how I expect them to communicate, interact, and behave. The hard part is doing the things that I am not as evolved in.
I was raised by a super resourceful single mom. Being married was not ever in my dream of what it meant to have a family. So now I'm here, an ardent feminist, raising boys with a husband and realizing that my attitude around roles in the family needs to shift. Dads can be awesome and capable of showing up, and brilliant in their own special kind of magic. But I have to allow that space to unfold. Otherwise I'm just reiterating the past.
I'm doing my best to take it one convo at a time. One hiccup. One victory. To be courageous and have faith that if I let go a little, everything won't fall apart.