Reveal Yourself – Come home
I’ve lost myself more times than I can count. I’ve become unrecognizable. I’ve forgotten myself over and over. And then I come home again. Always back home.
Recently, I’ve been paying more attention to the cyclical nature of my being as a woman. Through this care and attention, I am noticing the relationship between living in a patriarchy as a woman made of magic. Everywhere there is messaging about how women are just broken men, who don’t think right, or feel right or act right etc. and I am done taking it into myself. I’m moving into that gorgeous not-giving-a-fuck phase as a woman.
But the force of habit is strong. To illustrate, here’s an example: Let’s say you high-kick for work. All day every day, right leg only, for years. Your amazing body will adapt to make high-kicking less-stressful physiologically. Your balance will strengthen on the other side and over time, the muscles absolutely required to complete the best high kick will remain strong and lithe and the others will step back in service of efficacy.
Just like our bodies, so go our mental habits. They run with joy the course of least resistance. It’s easier to do things mentally and emotionally that are familiar to us. When you start to look with awareness at your habits, it requires more energy to change than to stay the same. Which is why many of us don’t.
A teacher of mine told me how the true work of a Vision Quest ceremony is not in the fasting and survival (although that is big) but how the information is brought back and integrated on a personal action level. Getting enlightened all by yourself is the path for some. But if you are reading this, your work is probably here in the world with others.
We are creatures of habit. The pull can be strong to do things the way we have always done, but in the unknown space, all is possible. Take a moment to let yourself feel to the edges of your knowing. Allow yourself to enter into the wild blue unknown. Breathe and feel for the tiny piercings of light that will show you the way home. Breathe and call yourself back. Open your arms and heart and you may bring back even more of you than you ever knew was there.