Reveal yourself – Release

It’s time to talk about letting go. I’ll go first, I hate when people tell me to let go.

I like to get shit done. I like to have a tidy home. I like to be organized and I know when my space is clear, my mind is clear as well. I am hella efficient. Sometimes. But I know that deep down, it is not these things that make me happy. So why do I insist on taking a hard position on keeping them just so?

Maybe it’s a few decades of cultural conditioning about what a mother’s role is. Maybe it’s my perfectionism. Maybe it’s my desire to control my environment. Maybe I’m still playing out my role in my family of origin with my new family. Maybe I’ve internalized the patriarchy to the extent that I can’t recognize it as trespasser in my warrior goddess garden.

When I hold onto these little things, I stitch myself to the stagnant past.

I’m ready to let go of some of my hard-earned stripes. And I’ll let them go with great joy.

The most important thing that I am learning right now is about release. What letting go, or release, looks like in your body will be different for everyone. How can you give yourself a place to go that is free from habitual holding patterns? Whether it is energetic, or physical holding, it leads to the same end which is that your grip on life is too tight and not strong enough at the same time.

I went to see a physical therapist this week and she literally told me I am a deep-ass muscle gripper, I mean a deep ass-muscle gripper. Like a coccygeus gripper. Holding tight to what matters is essential in some cases, but this is not one of them.

Hold the dear things tightly, and send the rest to die an exquisite death. A raucous, decorated, celebrated sunset.