In the dentist's chair: notes on revelation

Bike man and I had back to back root canals today. Kids waited in the car while he walked his slow lopsided smile to us. Whenever I’m in the chair, I imagine that dental work, however benign, is some weird form of torture. If there are space aliens, and they do abduct people, maybe they are just performing the equivalent to a dental exam. Ew.

So I’m sitting there, after being fully shot up with novocaine, still feeling it. “Do you have Irish blood?” the Endodontist asks. “You and your husband are both very difficult to numb”. The crunching and groaning of teeth along with sometimes searing pain goes on for 45 min. Brag: On the one tooth, I have 3 canals one of which splits into 2. I am trying about 35% to be brave and take it. Yet, in the face of awful fucking pain, I go directly to squirming, jolting and whimpering. Also, the novocaine made my heart race and simultaneously almost put me to sleep. About halfway through, the doc says something like part of one of his instruments will be forever embedded into my tooth. It’s titanium. That’s what he said.

The 5th marked the 3rd year and 3rd month of the little ones. Here’s us in the party room. It’s been so long since I’ve written that I want to say so many things but can only think of this: I value sleep higher than creative projects right now. It fills me with longing. I can’t wait till little hands are more dextrous and we can start making things together. Right now, it’s all negotiations, tumble-jumps and squish-hugs.